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What Not to Wear — Beach Edition: 4

beachwear-4I am not really sure who designed this 1970s shaded monstrosity (if anyone out there does know, feel free to chime in), but I have a feeling that the designer behind this spew fest was somehow traumatized by a cheek pinching, crocheting fiend of a grandmother in some unspeakable and horrifying way.

As if the color palette is not horrid and atrocious enough.  I am really sorry, I know colors like this are supposed to be cool in the summer, but unless your skin is the same color orange from too much fake tanning, then you really should just stay away from this awful tangerine shade.  Not only does it remind me way too much of my high school marching band uniform, but it is not at all helped by the accentuating spectrum of yellow, kelly green, and eye searing neon green.

Also, crochet does not belong on swimsuits.  The end.

Posted in Monokini. Tagged with , .

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